1. How will your personality blend with parenting?

Are you the type of person who would enjoy raising a child as a single parent? How well do you maintain your equilibrium and sense of humor when things don't go as planned? How flexible and adaptable are you? These qualities are important since life with children is full of the unexpected. As one woman said, " if you want a serene lifestyle, don't become a parent". Raising a child doesn't mean you won't have any peace but it is helpful to expect quite a bit more chaos in your life. How patient are you? How good are you at dealing with conflict? Also, how accepting are you of yourself? A critical and perfectionist attitude toward yourself can translate into the same attitude toward a child. This is hard for any child but it can be especially hard for an adopted child who may have a greater struggle with issues around loss and acceptance.

2. What is your lifestyle like?

Are you the kind of person who likes to spontaneously go out to meet friends, relishes your free time, and likes spending your expendable income to rent a ski lodge or beach house with friends? While you don't need to change your life 100% when you adopt, think realistically about how a child will affect your lifestyle. There will be fewer opportunities for uninterrupted socializing with other adults. How do you think you will feel about this? If you are accustomed to having all your money to spend on yourself, how will you feel about allocating a large portion of it to meet your child's needs?

3. Resources

Resources are both economic (money, assets), practical (such as the availability of child care and after-school care or recreational programs in your community) as well as emotional (friends, parent support groups, etc.) How secure are your job and living situation? Can you get practical support when you need it? Do you have friends and family who are supportive of the adoption and willing to help out? What about your church/synagogue/ parent support groups/neighborhood? Who can you count on? How can you broaden and deepen your support network?

4. Have you explored International as well as Domestic adoption and do you know about the different types of adoption including Public Agency and Private Agency Adoption?

If people don't know much about the different types of adoption they may rush into adopting the first child that they learn is available. It is preferable to explore the various types of adoption, listen to the experiences of other singles who have adopted, read books like Adopting On Your Own and then proceed.

5. Are you open to educating yourself in the ways in which adoptive parenting is different from parenting a birth child?

For instance, have you read adoption books and magazines, are you familiar with the issues of adopted children? As an adoptive parent you will need to become an advocate for your child. Whether it is being alert to issues of racism if your child is a minority group member or being competent in dealing with adoption issues in your child's school or other settings.