Don't worry if you don't answer yes to all (or even most) of these questions. You can use this questionnaire as a guide to focus on areas that still need exploration.

--Lee Varon,
author of Adopting on Your Own

1. Are you generally content with yourself as a person? Do you accept yourself as you are even though there may be things you want to change?

2. If you had hoped to begin a family with a partner, have you grieved for the two-parent family you may never have?

3. If you hoped to have a child by birth, have you resolved this loss? For example, have you allowed yourself to feel your whole range of emotions (frustrated, afraid, sad, angry) at not being able to give birth?

4. Have you read books about adoption, attended adoption information and orientation sessions, and carefully considered your different adoption options?

5. Is your extended family supportive of your plans to adopt on your own? Don't panic if they're not. Consider who else is in your support network and how you can take steps to strengthen it.

6. Do you know other single parents? Do you know other single adoptive parents? Do you have plans to talk to them? See the Resource section in Adopting on Your Own for ways to connect.

7. Do you have a strong support network composed of other single parents as well as two parent families, friends and extended family?

8. Do you live in a community that supports single parents and if not would you be willing to move? If you don't feel moving is an option, are there other ways to find support, i.e., adoptive parent groups?

9. Do you have enough financial stability to allow you to feel comfortable supporting yourself as well as a child?

10. Is your place of employment supportive of families? Single-parent families?

11. Do you feel comfortable having your child in daycare during the time you will be working?

12. Do you take care of yourself? Do you make time to see friends? Pursue your interests? Do you feel it is important to maintain your own personal life even after you become a parent?

13. Have you thought about how you might go about finding opposite sex role models for your child?

14. Are you good at (or at least capable of) balancing competing demands on your time?

15. Do you feel that adoptive parenting is different from parenting a child by birth and are you open to learning more about the issues surrounding adoption? Are you able to be helpful and supportive of your child's feelings about adoption? Are you open to seeking help for you and your child if difficulties arise?

16. Do you feel you will be comfortable advocating for your child? Do you feel you will be able to handle the attitudes and comments of others who may consider adoption or single parenting as second best? Or who do not understand your decision to adopt a child on your own?

17. Will you be able to cope if your child has a physical, mental or emotional disability or delay?

18. Are you able to reach out and ask for help when you need it?

19. Do you feel a one-parent home can be as strong and healthy as a two-parent home? Do you feel a sense of joy about creating your family through adoption?

Although you may not answer yes to all of these questions if more than half of your answers are negative, you may still need to do more work before pursuing adoption. If you have decided adoption is the right choice for you and your answers to most of the questions above is yes, then you are definitely on your way!